


And Yet, I'm Still Here

by katquasar



Category: Dragon Ball
Genre: Canonical Character Death, Character Study, Depression, Ficlet, Gen, Grief/Mourning, I Don't Even Know, Implied/Referenced Character Death, Past Relationship(s), Post-Cell Games Saga, Survivor Guilt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-03
Updated: 2018-02-03
Packaged: 2019-03-12 22:57:33
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 462
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13557372
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/katquasar/pseuds/katquasar
Summary: One lonely night, Yamcha reflects.





	And Yet, I'm Still Here

**Author's Note:**

> I'm really bad at doing things consistently. Like writing fanfiction regularly.
> 
> But I'm willing to try.
> 
> I wrote this on my phone in less than half an hour.
> 
> -KQ, 2/2/18

“I'm Still Here”

It was raining in the desert, where Yamcha had been wandering alone. After leaving Puar at the old hideout, he decided to take a walk. Sometime after, it had started to rain. Thankfully a capsule he had hid a hover car, which he was now hiding in.

He could easily drive back, aleve Puar’s worrying by showing his face safe and sound. But the sound of the rain pattering on the windshield and the oncoming nightfall stilled his hand. Not even the sight of lightning not too far off could scare him back.

Yamcha was not normally one for solitude, at least not in his adulthood. Maybe spoiled his instincts, too much time in civilization, socializing and having meaningless interactions. Social interaction since the Cell Games felt like a chore, especially with those who could never understand that experience. He tried keeping in touch with most of the others. But some days even that was something he’d rather avoid.

He had all but completely abandoned training. Something inside him keep repeating to him that he would never be able to keep up now, not with Super Saiyans and cyborgs and everything else. Even his human friends had started to leave him behind.

It wasn't like he enjoyed fighting anymore, not with his track record, he told himself. And yet, he didn't know what else to do with himself. What kind of job could a guy like him have, anyway?

He wished he could talk to Goku.

He wished he could find someone who would understand him. He still dreamed of one day getting married, despite the lack of luck in that field as well. He thought of his ex, with her little half-Saiyan bundle next to her. Despite the hurt he had experienced, he still spoke to her now and then. The kid was walking around now, and always seemed to want his father's attention. 

It was a nice thing to think about, up until the circumstances came back to mind, and he was reminded of just how lonely he really was. And yet, the loneliness was also a little comforting at the same time. Maybe he needed to figure everything out before jumping into something new.

Yet he didn't want to think right now. Not too hard. The rain was falling even harder, faster. He reclined the seat and looked up, watching the pattern that formed on the sunroof from the falling raindrops.

He wished he could cry. The numbness was nearly overwhelming. Was it grief, or survivor's guilt?

He wished he could talk to Goku. Not that he could help much, but maybe the sound of his old friend's voice would give him something. Anything.

He hoped Gohan and Chi-Chi were doing okay.

He wished he was.


End file.
